Tip and tip generously

I am sure my leanings toward being more civil to others is a result of growing older, an ever increasing realization that I am not the most important person in my life, and my employment over the last many years of my working career.

I pretty much worked my entire life in the service industry in the public. I spent many years responding to calls for help in the computer industry and finished up my working days in telephone support helping people with cable TV, Internet and phone issues.

One of the darker sides of being in the service industry is that no one wants you or needs you until something is broken. When things break it is normally perceived as at the least inconvenient and at the worse a national disaster. Another part of the service industry is a very prominent conception that what ever is wrong is somehow the service provider's fault. Or at the very least the service that the service provider represents, and since the customer has reached you, you are the goat until YOU got it fixed.

Having been the goat for most of my life I have learned a few things about treating other people.

The very first thing I do when encountering another individual for whatever reason I am polite, friendly and sympathetic as I can be. I always use sir or ma'am. If I can squeeze it in before the other person begins to speak I ALWAYS ask how are they doing with a smile on my face.

I learned in the military, and it was totally integrated into my demeanor on my first job in computers, that the best thing one can do next is to listen carefully showing in my body language and with my full attention that I was absorbing what the other person has to say. In computers and in customer support it was daily drilled into us to THEN recite back what had just been said, as exactly as possible, so that if there were things the other person needed to stress or change it would be apparent.

Sometimes it was difficult to keep in mind that the customer is probably upset with the situation and not particularly you. But, there were times when what happened could in the customer's eyes be construed as being my fault. It then is a tight wire walk to not admit guilt but to take full responsibility in taking care of the situation as quickly as possible.

So here are some things I highly recommend we a people living together in a confined small space in this solar system do for one another.

Always assume the person you are dealing with has more issues and problems than you do yourself. Always be sympathetic to those issues. And do your best to brighten their day as much as you can. Use please and thank you THROUGHOUT your conversation. Keep smiling unless it is aggravating the other person. Use kind and gentle words. And if a tip is typical in the situation, tip generously.

I do NOT ascribe to the idea of tipping on par with the service rendered. In other countries people in service industries, especially food service, are paid a little better than here in North America. In this country employers seem to believe that waiters, waitresses, busboys, luggage handlers, drivers, doormen and women, and a host of others work harder to be compensated in tips. Some might. But most work hard regardless.

Never, NEVER poorly tip a service provider because you think their service wasn't up to your expectations. Tell them so, but be generous anyway. That does much more good than shortchanging them. Tell them you were disappointed in the service you got and why, but then give them a nice tip and you will embarrass them. Do not ascribe to the thought that poor tipping results in better service. It actually works the opposite.

But more than the effect on the service provider is the effect on yourself. Be sure one day all of us are going to be judged not by what others did to us, but by what we did to others. By early in life getting into a habit of treating every person you encounter like they were your best friend and the one person in your life you would not want to wound will we see civility begin to creep back into society.

And please don't be the last person to poorly tip the waitress that is currently waiting on me!